Chart Of Sexual Positions

Hang this over your toilet so you can memorize it while you take shits.

These are the top 13 Larry’s favorites. Larry has given each one a summary of why it’s so awesome and given it a ranking based on aggressiveness and shame level.

Larry’s top 13 favorite Sexual Acts, in no particular order scumbags.

The Blunt Force Trauma – Not really an act of a sex as so much as a pre-sex shame enhancer. Make the whore gets down on her knees like it’s a hot July day and she’s about to suck the dicksickle. Unveil your boner, and get a good tight grip around its base using your index finger and thumb (like you’re making an “OK!” sign…… like “OK! You’re about to get drummed by cock! Whoo hooo!”) Not only does this give you good command over your Johnson, but it makes it nice and veiny. Now, make that whore look right at you while you bounce your meat all over her face and forehead. Do it hard so she can really feel it. Give her dozens of pops right on some of her facial features like her eyes, nose, and mouth. A really grimy bastard will ask questions like, “What would your Daddy do if he saw this?” to blow the roof off the shame level.

The Brute – This one is good if you’re about to smash on a girl that has a boyfriend or husband, because she’ll never look at him as a real man again. Basically it’s like this, clowns. The whore lies on her back with her legs perfectly straight but pointing back up towards her shoulders. Larry lines up and puts his forehead right on hers, staring into her eyes. Note that this is not for intimacy, but more for intimidation, like a Pitbull stares down a victim right before he eats him. Now, you should be hovering over the Whore, with her legs between your bodies acting as a spring to bounce you back up…and your face directly on top of hers to establish dominance. Now beginning powerful deepthrusts, pulling your pelvis all the way back until just the tip of your manmeat is on her vag, then ram it back in till your balls slap against her taint. Continue this motion with deliberate and brawny grunts. If you can get a hand on her throat and still maintain stability… give yourself a cookie.

The Violator – Classic. Basic. Timeless. around to her mouth and ram it in. Basically, a forced BJ after some anal. Yep, that’s the Wolf Cookie a la Carte.

Chili Dog – Cleveland Steamer for the advanced crowd. Basically, it still starts out with a big dump on the chest.  Only this time, instead of heading for the nearest window to take off like a thief in the night… you proceed to titty fuck the shit out of her. If done properly this really should resemble a chili dog. After you finish, it’s always fun to go “What the fuck? I didn’t order ranch!” Then you promptly wipe you dick off on something expensive or irreplaceable and throw down some Ninja smoke and get the hell outta Dodge. You sick bastard.

Hot Lunch – Big Dump directly into her mouth. There are not any extra words to really describe this one.

Italian Chandelier – This is going to take some acrobatics. First you get the whore to position her demoralized body on the bed, laying on her back with her legs up in the air and spread wide. Now move fast or that rotten cooter is going to start stinking since its being allowed to breathe into the open. Move on top of her, with your ass towards her face and grab her ankles like she’s a Harley Davidson (with a stinky cooter).  Pull her pelvic area up and towards you by jerking up on her legs and ram your weenus in. Niiice. Now, have the whore grab your ankles, which should be in the vincinity of her head, and have her push them up in the air while you stabilize yourself by keeping a kung fu grip on her legs, and using your cock as the center support column. Use your dick like a V8 and piston her privates while being virtually suspended in air. Pro tip – Once you get comfy with this, try to rotate 360 degrees while riding her to get the full blown Chandelier effect.

The Wild Rumpus – You’re going to need some friends, a campfire, and some animal fur. Probably some awesome drugs too. Go deep into the woods and build a big campfire so badass that it would make the Plains Indians blush. Once everyone gets loaded up and is starting to hallucinate like champs, the party starts. Everyone strips down bucked naked and puts on their animal fur and starts howling at the moon. Dance your naked asses around the campfire like a bunch of crazy bushmen being attacked by bees. After you’ve gone completely tribal and you just fuckin exhausted…. Sit down around the campfire talk about how much you enjoyed reading “Where the Wild Things Are” as a child and reminisce a little. If you’re tired, take a nap! What, you thought Larry would disrespect a childhood classic?

Yes, yes he would. After the drugs kick in get bucked naked and everyone fucks in a pile. Mouths, pussies or assholes, if it’s a hole it gets nailed. C’mon you knew this.

The Roto Rooter – Another anal maneuver designed to maximize pleasure to Larry and pain to the whore/cellmate. Once your organ has been deeply rooted into the butthole and you have some nice rhythm going, start moving your hips in a zig-zagging or “Z” pattern. Once you get sufficient satisfaction from that, switch it over nice clockwise or counter-clockwise circular pattern. This will sufficiently cause your partner some anal pain, increase the shame level, and get Larry off.

Larry is banging some dirty slug in the dog position. He takes his thumb and puts it flush against the top of the slut’s asshole. Without breaking stride during his thrusts, he pulls out just a little further than normal and runs his dick along his thumb, like his dick is a monorail shoehorning along his thumb right into this slut’s ass. Don’t give her the opportunity to say no, just hit her with the Violator. Mmmkay?

Cleveland Steamer – Oldie but a goody. Have the whore lie on her back and look straight up at the ceiling with some god damn respect.  Have her rest her vein streaked arms at her sides. Rock back on your haunches hovering 12-18 inches over her droopy titties.  Now pinch off a mighty growler right there across her tits and down her stomach and don’t look back. Tell her you’re going to get some paper towels then sneak out of a bathroom window. Awesome.

Wolf Cookie – This is only applicable if you have successfully maneuvered the slut into some nice anal pleasures. After getting down and dirty in her pooper, pull your dick out, then make a quick spin move

The Siege Breaker – You ever watch UFC fights? You ever watch Georges St Pierre rain down those sick knee drops from the kneeling position and just straight shatter ribs and egos? Ya it’s like that. Only instead of GSP and knees, it’s Larry’s cock and some sorostitute’s asshole. Or pussy. Whatever, moving on. Get the victim to lie in the kneeling position with her head facedown into the mattress. Overwhelm her with your body, taking position up behind her and then lean over so she can feel your Kentucky Deluxe breath on her neck. Now, hold steady with your arms and raise your legs and sausage (aka Ramming Mechanism) high into the air, then begin to rain down dick into her defenses (aka pussy and/or asshole) continue doing this until her will breaks or you blow your wad. Then leave. Easy peasy. (PS – You’d better be accurate as sniper fire when performing this one, if you come down at the wrong angle and miss her pussyhole you could snap your cock in half. You’ve been warned, Larry is no liable.)

Rusty Trombone – Make the skeezer kneel down behind you, while you are standing facing away from her. Said skeezer then reaches around and proceeds to give you a good ole jerkin off with her strong hand, while she eats out your asshole from the kneeling position.  Bonus points if you blow shart in her face and tell her she looks like Louis Armstrong.

The Pirate – You’re face fucking a girl when you suddenly feel you’re about to blow like Mt Vesuvius. Pull out and fire a salvo into her eye, making her quickly reach up and start wiping at her closed eye. Then quickly fire out an uppercut into her stomach, making her grab her stomach with her free hand. Now she will have one closed and be hunched over screaming “AARRRGGHHHHHHHHH” and well… bitch looks like a pirate.

The Hostage Situation – This one again isn’t so much as a sexual maneuver as it is a post-sex precautionary operation. So you just banged a nasty slut using one of the tactics above or something you just made up yourself (if it was missionary, get the fuck off my website you uninspired scumbag. Get off my obstacle. Get the fuck off my obstacle. ) Anyway, so you banged this slut and you blew a nut in her because… what the fuck is a condom right? Then it dawns on you that this slut might not be on birth control. Your spooge may be trapped in her private parts trying to make a baby, then this ho has you on lock down for 18 years. Good god man, act quick. First, you have to make the bitch pee. Yes, pour some water down her throat and make her go pee immediately. The outflow of fluids might drag some of your man juice with it as it exits the body, or at least you know, dilute it and make it less potent. Next, you want to stuff your now flaccid weenus back in her and give her the Roto Rooter again. This should knock loose any spunk still in there and make it more likely to fall out. Larry’s logic is flawless. Now, after these steps, you want to take a trip to the nearest CVS or Walgreens and buy some Plan B emergency contraception. It costs $50 per pill, so buy (i.e. steal) like 10 now and this will save you the trip in case of future emergencies. Go back to the slut with the Plan B and make her take it, and for the love of god, watch her swallow it! Make that bitch open her mouth and inspect it to make sure that bastard went down the hatch. If your slut is resistant, crush the pill up and put it in some bottled water. Then you can be like, “Hey, I got you some bottled water here cause I know you don’t really like tap water blah blah blah blaahhhhhh”. Watch her drink it for visual confirmation of fetus prevention. Finally, there is a follow up maneuver that is just really necessary. Pay her a surprise visit 8-10 weeks after the passionate act. Walk up, feign a handshake, then fire out 15-20 vicious jab-jab-cross combos directly into her womb region! Finish it up with a Tiger Uppercut, a Hyruiken, or the Thousand Hand Slap just for good measure. Excessive? Well, only god can judge us, but Larry knows for a fact it beats the shit out of financing braces for some little shit ass 16 years down the road that whines about not making varsity and isn’t cool enough to introduce you to any slutty cheerleaders.

Larry is not one to gush very often, but every once in a while a true American hero comes down the pipeline and really touches Larry’s heart.

Even more rare…..2 American heroes in 1 month.   Larry thinks a new government holiday should be named in the honor of these great men.

Tiger Woods and Jesse James are cut from a different cloth.  These two gentlemen fuck whores with a reckless abandon. Not only do they bang dirty whores, but they make sure to do it right in the spotlight essentially giving middle America the middle finger.  They fuck hot bitches, classy bitches, complete  whores, and everything in between. (Reminds me of another hero we know, couch Larry cough).

The class and dignity these two showed is also unbelievable.  As you fools who read this blog know, Larry has one and only one rule.  It’s the golden rule.  Larry’s golden rule is “Admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter accusations.”

These heroes have done nothing but live and die by this rule.  When Tiger was caught did he come right out and admit he was complete scum?  Of course not.  That would break the golden rule.  No, he changed his story, made up a weaker story, and even blamed the media for prying.

He then became a 1 man wrecking crew texting whores, begging, making threats, and even professing fake love in the name of saving his ass.  It wasn’t until they had printed evidence and 14 whores standing in front of a mic and camera saying, “He putted his penis into my vagina like it was the clowns mouth at the local put put,” that he finally admitted he might have cocked a few of these sloppy pigs.   Hero? No.  God amongst mere mortals?  Yes.

Jesse James, our second hero may have been Larry’s twin brother nabbed at birth.  He marry’s America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, the classic boring girl next door.  The kind of woman who most likely doesn’t cuss, doesn’t give head, and want to go to church every sunday. These type of people make Larry sick.  They are everything that is wrong with the world and I believe they are eroding the moral fabric of today’s youth.

Jesse, realizing the error of trying to live with one pussy the rest of his life, and being painted into a corner by this diabolicaly safe bitch did what he had to do to escape the clutches of this demon.  What did our hero do? He feverishly fucked 31 strippers in 11 days.  It wasn’t until about whore 26 that he finally let out a comfortable sigh of relief.

When Larry rocks the mic…he rocks the mic hard,

-Larry P

How to Pick up a Hooker

Larry is going to teach you something clowns. Larry is the Jedi Master at this skill and you are lowly Padawan learners, so sit the fuck up straight and pay attention best Larry karate chops your dick away from your taint.

Step one.

Gather Bait. “But Larry! The glory of Hookers is that you don’t need to lure them in they do it for money!” Shut your damn face queen. Larry doesn’t need to waller in his own shit either but it’s cool against the skin and Larry doesn’t have sweat pores. Capiche? Rookie mistakes like that are exactly why Larry needs to teach this lesson. Do you need whore bait? Not really, but it raises the shame 3-4 levels and will enhance this experience. Now listen up, good bait is something the whore needs and can’t get easily. Penicillin works well. Also try government cheese. Yes, Larry thinks this will bring them scurrying.

Step two.

Verbally berate them. This is important, because hookers aren’t real people and you need to let them know immediately that you know that. Larry likes to come out swinging with “whore”, cause it cuts to the chase, but anything works. This gets their attention and lets them know you aren’t here to fuck around. Girls with low self esteem are more willing to let Larry dip his balls into their ass if they’ve been psychologically abused . Larry uses science. Excellent.

Step 3.

Show them your cock. Do as Larry says. This lets them know you’re not a pig (a cop you fuckin smartass). That’s right. After years of dealing in and with hookers, Larry has become adept to their unspoken whore culture. This is the nonspoken whore way of saying “I might kill you or beat you, but I won’t arrest you!”. No cop is going to whip out his johnson on the spot. The whores will appreciate this. Not that Larry gives two shits, but it gets them in the van quicker.

Step 4.

Make them show you their tits. If these whores aren’t noobs they will automatically recipricate this step after you present your cock. In whorespeak, this means “Thanks for showing me your cock so I know you’re not Johnny Law. Here are my saggy pancake tits, see I’m not a cop either!”  Once that’s out of the way Larry can procede with this without worrying about it ending in a high speed police chase down I-90. Well, if you know Larry you can never rule that out, but you catch Larry’s drift, correct?

Step 5.

Prepare to bludgeon. You let this whore service you and then you tell her to get something out of the back seat. Larry is clandestine and acts stealthily, see. Then you get a heavy object from the glove compartment (could be anything, you may know that Larry uses a sack of pennies because it’s all these whores are worth. Larry enjoys symbolism.) After rendering said whore unconscious, Larry takes his 50 bucks back, Purells the Hepatitis off his hands and prepares for step 6. Practice this playing Grand Theft Auto.

Step 6.

Secure an icechest. This is what you’re going to put the kidney in. That’s right scumbags, Larry wants those kidneys. And if those things reach room temperature they aren’t worth a god damn nickel. Do as Larry says, just squeeze it in between the  cans of Beast Lite. Larry is pretty sure this isn’t illegal because whores aren’t people. Its basically like just finding a kidney in the bushes. Now, this is important. Larry says to get the kidney to the drop off location before it gets warm. If you show up to a seedy parking garage with a useless whore kidney you’re going to be in a world of shit. And one more thing, Larry thinks this goes without saying, but for the love of god don’t tell anyone it’s a whore kidney. No one will pay fair market value for a kidney that’s been trying to siphon syphillis for most of its adult life.  Larry is glad that we are on the same page. Larry feels a connection. Next step clown.

See that Kidney fuckface? Nice and chilled. Mmmm just what the doctor ordered.

Step 7.

You’re going to need a sidearm. Especially if you’re new to this. Remember that seedy parking garage Larry mentioned? It’s a perfect opportunity to ambush the Triads and get away with the money and that kidney. Larry knows the only thing better than a whore kidney you can sell to the Chinese mafia is a whore kidney that you can sell to the Chinese mafia twice. Mwuahaha this is not Larry’s first trip to the rodeo see?

Step 8.

Rinse and repeat. Larry does not accept your “Thank you’s” because you should have figured this out for yourselves. Fuck off.

Larry doesn’t really understand this twitter thing, but it seems like a good way for Larry to keep his ear to the ground.  Larry likes to stay up on his current events.  Larry also thinks this is a good way to keep tabs on his bitches, namely your mom.

Follow Larry on twitter here: Larry The Pig On Twitter

Larry will be dropping truth bombs almost everyday.  If you have small children, Larry suggests you make them read it.  If they can’t read, read it to them.  If they are deaf and can’t read, they have weak genetics and you should throw them off a cliff Spartan style.

Fuck you for reading Larry’s blog.  Get a real fucking job and do something with your shit life.

-Larry P on the mic

Does Lady Gaga have a penis?  The debate rages on.

Let Larry settle it for everyone once and for all.  Yes. Yes he does.

Larry did his homework.  It wasn’t easy to find this pic.  Larry had to shake the damn monkey one time to get Lady Gaga’s mom to cough this one up.  3 knees to the face later, Larry has the proof we’ve all been waiting for.

Here is a baby pic of Lady Gaga.  The pic is clearly an original and proves that she was in fact a cute baby….o yeah and it also proves that she has a nice sized penis.

Well, it looks like this is an open and shut case.  I think after seeing this pic Larry found we can all put this to bed.  Now we can all agree that Lady Gaga is actually Sylvester Stalone.  Strange way to make a comeback, but Larry thinks….who the fuck are you to judge Rocky?   Fuck you.

Fuck you for reading,

-Larry P

Larry thinks that the new health care agenda passed by President Obama sucks shit.  Larry doesn’t believe in medicine in general, because Larry believes medicine is a crutch of the talentless.  If you are such a pussy that you need medicine stuffs, then you have to pay for them.

Broke, injured, 3 kids, can’t afford it you say?  Sorry, Larry stopped listening at B.

Maybe instead of medicine stuffs you should do what Larry does and hit the strip club with a vengeance.  Larry has never had a sickness that a 3 day bender at the Body Shop in West Hollywood can’t cure.

If they would have asked Larry about this new Health Care policy, Larry would have voted strong and hard with his middle finger.

Fuck you for listening,

-Larry P

Because Larry knows you are probably retarded, Larry added a link for you to read interesting facts about the greatest being on the planet… himself.

Here are some Larry facts most retards didn’t know:
http://www.larrythepig.com/larry-facts

Good work pardge. Welcome to the NFL.

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/03/23/tebows-pre-wonderlic-prayer-request-falls-flat/

So Larry observes that it is Doppelganger week on Facebook. You clowns pick out a celebrity that you’re supposed to look like and you put it up as yourself. Well, some of you scumbags need to invest in a fucking mirror, cause god damn. Oh, and Larry knows who’s kidding, and who’s not. Larry can promise you that 99% of the sorostitutes on Facebook look nothing like Lauren Conrad or Kristin Cavalleri  (exhibit A).

≠

Just because you both have blonde hair and rotten crotches it does not mean you get to force upon us your idea that you resemble Britney Spears. And if you are going to do this, you better put a recent picture of Britney (post impregnation by Larry), and not from the “Oops I did it again” years because it angers Larry when dirty skanks pose as his ex squeeze. Larry didn’t spend 3 years in the shadows and bushes outside of her mansion with a bottle of chloroform in one hand and the other at a steady stroke keeping his mangirth at ¾ mast, so Larry was ready to roll if the opportunity presented itself. Larry won’t have that memory cheapened by you.

Larry wants to get back on track. Please explain to Larry just what your plan is by putting up this deceit? All someone has to do is click on your photos and in seconds you’re revealed to by a big fat slovenly softball player. Instead of getting pity from the person on the other end, instead of them seeing your picture and thinking “Aww, this is one ugly skank. I feel sorry for her.”  They call all their friends together and go “Holy shit, this bitch actually thinks she looks like Hiedi Klum. I’ll bet some guy told her that so he could fuck her. HAR HAR HAR!”

You’re just setting yourself up for colossal failure. This stunt (cause that’s what it is, is a stunt) is no different than ugly and/or fat girls who take pictures at weird or funny angles to hide their fatness. This angers Larry. And when Larry is angry hookers disappear. So stop that. We’ve all seen that Myspace picture of the Blonde headed girl with big tits, and then when enlarged is exposed to be a fat ass beached whale (exhibit B).

Well that’s you. That’s exactly what you’re doing. Stop playing. Larry has some advice, because Larry likes to help. This is true advice, if you use this then I promise you will benefit.

Now, Larry knows he can’t make you pretty, only you can do that by not going to McDonalds for your bi-hourly  supersized No. 3 with DIET Coke (Oh wow, good work dipshit. 1400 calories instead of 1475 calories barreling through your intestinal tract. Well done. Just get the real Coke. Just fuckin go for it. The complete failure of logic here makes Larry’s blood boil. If you need diet coke…. Get the fuck outta McDonald’s dumbass! Larry could go on.) But what we can do is compare you to something uglier. Ehh? Larry is in innovator, no?

See, the problem with putting up pictures of some hot celebrity is that it’s a huge letdown because you can’t compare. You are trying hard to sell yourself as something that is prettier than you. Do you think Larry is stupid? Larry and friends will not see this picture and think “Hey, she DOES look like Jessica Simpon! “ Same logic for all of you that put up pictures of zoomed in face shot of you in a hoodie, coming from a 90 degree angle and set to black and white. Weird ass pictures are a red flag that you’re fugly and they hurt you more than help you. Larry will give you time to write that down. Larry’s plan is simple clowns. If you’re ugly, put up a picture a Rosie O’Donnell as your celebrity picture. Then people click expecting the worst. You are slightly better and a wave of relief floods over them. BAM. You’re a hero. Make it worse up front so it only gets better. Problem solved. Stop trying to treat Larry like he isn’t going to click through your pictures for something to fondle himself to, only to see that you are in fact not really Adriana Lima, just another skeeze with egg on a nail titties.

The opening ceremonies of the Olympics are really fucking gay. Larry knows this as a fact. You know it too. Don’t get caught up in the hype, don’t let your brain tell you “Hey man, it’s the Olympics, once every couple years, this is cool!” The opening ceremonies are queef worthy and deep down you can’t deny this.

Let Larry begin by saying that any event involving people dancing around like fairies, singing and clapping and acting like fucking clowns, really pisses Larry off. It makes him want to shit on a stripper’s chest right between her crooked titties, and then drive his cock through it and give her the chili dog. No tip. Possible bludgeoning.  Some type of activity like this always occurs when a major athletic event is happening and the promoters get a massive boner at the chance to stretch it into a 4 hour primetime NBC special. Not god damn necessary. Let Larry make a point here, the Olympics is not about cultural understanding, it’s not about togetherness, and it’s not about celebration of differences. It’s about separating the awesome countries from the shitty countries and female athletes from obscure sports posing naked in Playboy to cash in on their 15 minutes. That’s what it’s about, don’t get it twisted. Larry is pretty sure that the Olympics started when ancient Greeks got together to get butt naked and kick the fuck out of each through brawny ass feats of strengths (Ya, get back in the cellar Curling. You fuckin pussy.) There was drinking, there was fucking, and there was fighting.  Larry is on board.

Please explain to Larry why it is necessary to show a fucking interpretive dance for every single 3^rd world dump that shows up with a crew of 4 -7 scumbags. Why must we honor them? Also, please notice the Larry has replaced the word “athlete” with the word “scumbag”. Because let’s be real… a lot of these Olympic sports don’t require any real athletics. The day Larry calls an archer an athlete is the day Larry doesn’t reuse a heroine needle. And then they have to parade in wearing the most god awful, heinous, ass pounding uniforms ever created. Don’t try to deny it, they usually suck. What the fuck is wrong good ole some Nike Warm-ups hmm? Jesus.

Look at the above pic clowns. Can someone tell Larry what the fuck is going on here? Why the fuck would anyone want to see this, and more importantly what the fuck does it have to do with the Olympics! What a shitfest! Is this necessary? Why is Larry forced to endure this!

Fuck yeah. Cause this is what the Spartans had in mind when wanted to celebrate competition… get the fuck outta here!  The lame fairy shit all over this.

Getting a bunch of little kids and flag girls together does NOT make something entertaining. It sucks a biggest dirty dick you’ve ever seen. You put Larry in charge of the opening ceremonies and you’re going to have to beat away the Emmy nomination board with a baseball bat. Here’s how it goes down clowns.

The lights dim. Metallica starts to rip through the speakers at volume 11 and we see a laser light show so fucking badass all the elderly in attendance shit their pants. All the nations sprint down the tunnels wearing only loin cloths and brandishing battleaxes and broadswords. The Kim Kardashian blowjob video begins playing on loop from the big screen in sweet and splendid high definition.  Strippers wearing assless chaps wade into the audience equipped with t-shirt launchers, BUT… that’s right clowns… they’re not loaded with T-shirts. They’re randomly loaded with bowling balls, cash, ecstasy, and nude pictures of Larry. It’s a little game of high risk – high reward to get the fans into it. Right as Ray-J blasts Kim’s chest till it looks like a god damn Krispy Kreme donut, glorious battle begins on the arena floor. All nations descend upon each other while singing their national anthems and swinging their steel like madmen. That’s when it happens…. The Bigfoot monster truck comes tearing ass out of the south tunnel like a Roman champion riding his chariot into the Coliseum. It’s being driven by Larry and bears down on the helpless athletes below at 50 million RPMS.  In the back of Bigfoot is Hulk Hogan wearing an Uncle Sam costume and being blown by Jenna Jameson. Hulkmania unveils dual flamethrowers and the crowd goes ape shit. The Olympic torch is lowered from the ceiling with Osama bin Laden tied to the top of it. Hulk unleashes the flamethrowers’ fury upon the torch and Osama quickly becomes the wick of this fuckin candle. Bruce Buffer hands Hulk the mic, he spits the stogie out of his mouth, turns to the rioting crowd and yells “OHHHH YEEAAAAAAHH. LET THE GAMES BEGIN BRUUUTHHHAAA!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The cab of Bigfoot is shown littered with empty bottles of Colt 45 and Larry passes out, with Bigfoot careening into the Grandstands. Cut to Bob Costas.

Holy shit. Larry has a boner.

Welcome to Larry’s Fucking Site…..

Larry will be spitting liquid fire several times per week.  If you don’t like what Larry has to say, well you can always go suck a walrus dick.  If you do like what Larry has to say leave a comment and pretend to yourself that Larry will take the time to read what you say and pretend to care.  (He won’t)

-Larry “Dime Piece” Pig