Hey fucking guy out there,

Larry suggests all his faithful readers out there go to your local supermarket and stock up on non perishable food stuffs, bottled water, and shotgun shells.  The apocalypse is upon us.

Larry knows this to be fact because there is no way in hell any human man dead/alive/blind/rich/poor would subject themselves to the horrible experience of marrying this ugly creature Chelsea Clinton.  A creature from the darkest depths of the darkest cave under the scariest bridge you’ve ever seen in your life…ever.  A place so scary and dark, this creature adapted the palest skin and the darkest eyes…like two black holes consuming everything they look at….The worst shit.

The only logical explanation is that this is actually some kind of cyborg or a man with no cock.  I know sad old man virgins who would shoe horn their limp cock into this troll on their drunkest most depressed day.

Did you know that when Chelsea Clinton was attending Yale in college, they had to build her a special dorm.  See, trolls can’t come out during the day and can’t live in normal dwellings.  They feed on children walking at night and must live under a bridge near a dark body of water or large cliff.  Yale spent 4 million dollars building a bridge and digging a wharf for this troll to live in.  They even flew in children from Africa and had them attempt to cross the bridge every midnight so this troll could feed. And feed she did.

All Larry is trying to do is give his loyal readers fair warning so you can take proper defense measures. The fact that she is getting married is a sure sign that Beelzebub has escaped the fire pits of hell and has returned to earth to rain down 1,000 years of pain and vengeance.

Get a shotgun…get plenty of bottled water and canned fruit….dig a trench in your backyard and get ready to shoot your neighbor when he turns into a zombie and comes over to eat your brain.  This red headed bitch is a menace who can’t be stopped.

We can’t stop her or the wrath she brings, we can only hope to contain her.

The only way to repel her you ask?

Stab her with a stake in the heart?  No.

Shoot her with a laser?  No.

Machine guns and rocket tipped arrows?  No.

You can’t kill her. Trolls don’t die.  They are like highlanders….accept no weakness.  The only way to survive menacing trolls like Chelsea Clinton is to scare them off with your nudity.

Good luck my loyal followers.  Larry will see you all in hell,

-Larry