If anyone has played Red Dead Redemption, you may have noticed some similarities between the events in the game and Larry’s life. Well that’s because those dicksucks over at Rockstar straight Jew’d several of the scenarios in this game straight from Larry P’s playbook of Life 101. Observe Larry’s unfaltering evidence clowns.

The most glaring and arrogant jewing of Larry’s antics would be the rampant whore stabbing. If you’ve played this piece of shit game then you will know that it’s pretty common to come across a drunken chlamydia host dragging a whore out of the saloon and into the street by her hair. Hehe, silly whores. He then says things like “Stupid bitch I’m gonna cut you up real nice! Don’t you ever give me lip!”  and proceeds to take out a big cot damn Rambo knife and trace her abdominals less than gently. Rockstar calls this a “minigame” or “in-game event”. Larry calls this Wednesday night. Larry deserves some compensation, Larry even let those nerds put those hospital nipple things all over Larry’s body and motion capture a whore stabbing recreation. Larry was not even mentioned in the credits.

You can also take anyone in the game, including nuns, hogtie them to your mighty steed, and place them gingerly on the train tracks. Then you tap your foot against the ground and check your pocket timepiece of the era and wait on the 3:10 to come in and smash your guest into bloody pulp. Awesome. While Larry hasn’t done this exactly, per say, Larry thinks he holds some intellectual rights to this and could make a case. Larry has feverishly masturbated to this scenario no less than 937 times. But where in the blue fuck can Larry find a train this day and age with one of those badass cow scoops on the front of it?!? Riddle Larry that chumps.

The developers abstained from including paint-huffing, extreme close-ups of anal sex with genital warts, and John Marston didn’t have a tattoo of a battleship on his ass, but other than that I think it is safe to say that Rockstar is Danny Ocean to Larry’s intellectual capital, and Larry will see you in court mother fuckers. PEACE.